Why Won’t God Heal My Broken Child?

The diagnosis was finally revealed! A five-hour test which God set up for all of our questions to be answered. Years of prayer, waiting, and wondering. We now know.

Like many parents, I prayed a lot over my child.  My daughter was dealing with so many issues and felt many times broken and defeated.  As a parent, I too, felt discouraged.  I wanted so badly to make my daughter whole again, released from the pain she was going through.  But it did not happen.  

Tears were often accompanied by my prayers.  The same question would be asked over and over, “God, why won’t you heal my daughter?”  

Moms and Dads across the globe also ask this same question.  They are hurting, in pain, frustrated, and left hopeless.  They wonder where God is as they travel the road of uncertainty.  There are also moments in which their peace is robbed by fear when they worry over their child.  This is often so true for parents who have children with addiction problems, risky behavior, as well as severe depression with suicidal thoughts.  

I used to lay in bed at night for hours in despair as to whether or not my daughter would make it another day.  Counselors were sought after and medicines tried. When your child is an adult, this makes it harder to get them the help that they need.  It isn’t a matter of your child’s mental health anymore.  Eventually, you start to be concerned about your own mental state.  

Again, the question is repeated, “God, why won’t you heal my child?”  

Does God answer that question? Yes and no. It was not in the way you may think. Mine came when I realized how much my daughter’s issues actually played a part in her reaching out to God. Her problems also caused my faith to grow in a tremendous way. In fact, I do not regret the path from which I journeyed.  What would life have been like if I didn’t even need to ask that question?

Notice that I did not say that God healed her.  He did however, show us the root of her issues and finally gave us answers that we had longed for throughout the years. Now that she is older, even she herself can look back to her past and see how God intervened, protected, and answered her too.  

God does answer in regards to helping our hurting and wayward child.  However, His answers are not the same as ours.  He is still working in their lives even when we may not see immediate results.  

In my case, my daughter struggled with reasoning, controlling her emotions, problem solving, and more.  These opened up the door of many bad choices and not thinking through consequences.  Today, we know that there is a brain issue involved which hampered her from growing in these areas.  It took years of figuring this out and going to the right specialists.  God could have easily given us the answer right away.  So why didn’t He?  

God does not have to indulge us by giving us the answers.  He is God and can choose to heal or not heal or to delay. It is more of a matter of whether or not we will trust Him in this process which often includes pain.  There were and still are many teachable moments in the journey.  This begs the question asked by God, “Are you willing to trust Me no matter what?”  For myself, it was a resounding yes, although very scary at times. 

What have I learned from all of this? God is still in control.  God continues to work in my child’s life, and He loves us all so very much.  

While you wait, continue to pray. Seek God for deliverance and declare healing over your child.  God will honor those prayers in His own way.  Our job as parents is to keep the faith going and for His name to be glorified in the end.  

John 11:4 ESV  But when Jesus heard it he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”

Romans 5:3-5 ESV  3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Image by Ulrike Mai from Pixabay