Why I Refused to Celebrate Mother’s Day
It’s Mother’s Day! Flowers, candy, and a day off from cleaning and cooking. That is what many moms wish for. These are some of the things that a mother enjoys while the day is celebrated. Some families go all out. They give lavish retreats away from home, a day at the spa, or give praise through cards, phone calls, and social media to express their love for “Mom”.
However, being a “mom” of a teen in crisis brings about a very different kind of Mother’s Day. You see, teens who are hurting and struggling have moms who put themselves last on the list of receiving care. We also don’t always experience the benefits or rewards of adulation along with hugs and words of love and thankfulness.
Some moms instead, worry about their teen who hadn’t come home the night before. Some moms are faced with a teen who is drug addicted or self-harming. Some moms must visit their teen in juvie for Mother’s Day or at the hospital because their teen had a mental breakdown. Some moms wonder if they can handle being in their child’s life because their teen has left them hopeless, frustrated, angry, and tired from all that they have been through.
Years ago, I made a big deal out of Mother’s Day which got ruined many times because of my teen in crisis. So I refused to celebrate it. But as time went on, I became thankful. Thankful that I survived another year as a mom of a teen in crisis.
As each Mother’s Day passed, my faith in God became stronger as I relied on Him to get me to the following year. This grew and sustained my hope during the difficult times. It also helped me deal with my expectations in a more positive way. Instead of waiting to see what was going to ruin my day, I thanked God for all the little victories that were happening in my child’s life. No matter how small or big.
One of the biggest changes for me as a mom was how much more I put that responsibility as a parent back towards God. I knew in my heart that I couldn’t control every aspect, problem, issue or circumstance with each crisis, but I did know who could. That took off a lot of burdens I was carrying as a parent, especially as a mom.
Being a parent, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be the best mom and when our teen fails us or the community in general, it comes back on us. No longer stuck in this pattern, I give my problems to God in prayer. I know He will work them all out in His own way through His wisdom and not mine. After all, He created my child from the very beginning. He knows my teen better than I ever could.
So dear mom, as you get through this Mother’s Day, good or bad, remind yourself that it isn’t forever. Your teen really does love you and one day they will thank you for not giving up on them.
From one mom to another who understands, may your Mother’s Day be filled with God’s love, hugging you with hope, peace, strength, and the knowledge that the Lord knows your heart this day. Let Him guide you through the day and the year and allow Him to carry the hurts, disappointments, and the sorrow you may come upon. As you rely on Him, He will give you joy that passes all understanding and a lightness within you as you daily go before the Lord in prayer.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!