New Year’s Resolutions for the Hurting Parent
Every year, friends, family, and co-workers talk about their New Year’s resolutions. Some of the favorites are losing weight, go on a long awaited trip, spend less money, and even go back to school. When we are a parent with a child in crisis however, our goals fade and we lose ourselves in the chaos that surrounds us.
Most of the time when we set goals, they are too big or take too long and so our hope and desires for them to be fulfilled become diminished. We also lose site of those goals when we only make a list in our heads and never get it on the calendar. That is something I have often done with little success in reaching my goals.
Adding to that difficulty is when your focus is so much on the needs of your child in crisis that we often forget about the care of ourselves. This is another area in which I badly lost my way to reach those goals. This coming year, I chose to make ones that ARE reachable. These goals I pray, will bring my life less stress, give me more rest, and to encourage as well as comfort me when I am confronted with something difficult. So, here they are. Maybe you can add a couple onto your list of goals for 2018.
- Make a music list of all of your favorite songs so that you can be uplifted when you start to feel down.
- Read one chapter a day from your Bible until you finish the whole book.
- Write down and recite one inspiring verse from the Bible each week to give strength during times of struggle.
- Meet twice a month with a friend for coffee or outing.
- Learn a new hobby or work on a long awaited project (for me that would be a 3,000 piece puzzle)
- Start a garden.
- Visit the shore for the day along with a beach chair and a good book to read
- Write down each day something you are thankful for.
- Pamper yourself – do something you enjoy (Spa Day)
- Take a really long nap
- Ride a bike through your favorite park
- Visit or join a gym
- Redecorate your favorite room
- Go on a road trip by yourself
- Have a movie marathon of Comedy with lots of popcorn and a dear friend
- Go guilt free for the day – Eat your favorite dessert and don’t count calories
- Pick out one item you really want to get and start an investment jar to add money in each week until you have met your goal, then buy that item. (I want a portable CD player)
- Volunteer yourself to a much needed organization that could use your skills – can be once a week, a month, or a year.
As a parent, we need goals just for us, not for our children. Yes, we would like to see them get better from their illness, be set free from addiction, get healing, and more. However, we cannot be strong and supportive if we are hurting and struggling too.
A healthy parent can aid a sick child. But a sick parent can’t get their child back to health and healing. So for 2018, pick out your goals, make some healthy resolutions, and find time for yourself to strengthen your spirit. God will do the rest.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do
you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:18-19