I Want My Life Back!
As I was decorating for the fall, I was reminded of the countless times in the past I was consumed by the many crises of my teen. Those crises preoccupied my life to the point that finding joy in a new season or celebrating a holiday became non-existent.
Having a teen or young adult in crisis dominates your life physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You find yourself not living your life anymore but that of your child. Everything is about them. Literally!
I had no time to clean my house. I had no availability to see friends. I craved to be alone and couldn’t. I spent all my time going to a counselor and doctor appts., searching the web or reading for answers to serious issues. I was too tired to think about cooking or to eat a regular meal. My wash was piled up and dishes constantly left in the sink.
When I went to work, my mind was consumed even more because I wasn’t home to see what was going on. When I went to church, I wanted to hide from others so that I wasn’t twenty-questioned about our family. As time went on, it got to a period to which I wanted to run away or worse yet, end my life. Obviously I didn’t since I am writing this post.
The reality was, I didn’t have a life anymore. Because of this, it left me angry at my child. It caused sadness that my life was passing by and I couldn’t enjoy it. I felt depressed for I saw no answers coming when I needed them so desperately.
When we read the account of David in the Bible, he struggled with similar issues. Although he didn’t have a teen to worry about, he did have someone who consumed all of his time – King Saul. David’s life was always in an upheaval because of King Saul’s fear and jealousy. King Saul relentlessly pursued David in hopes of killing him. So this left David running for his life for four years and hiding in caves which became his home. He didn’t see his family for a long time and his best friend Jonathan, was killed. He was emotionally, physically, mentally and at times spiritually drained and exhausted. He in essence, didn’t have a life for a long period of time either.
Although I don’t have someone out to kill me or make me live in a cave without my family, I surely can emphasize with what David was going through.
Despite the troubles, and they were big ones, David always called out to the Lord, even in his frustration and despair. Yet, he also praised God.
Psalm 22:1-5 NASB
My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?
Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning.
2 O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer;
And by night, but I have no rest.
3 Yet You are holy,
O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel.
4 In You our fathers trusted;
They trusted and You delivered them.
5 To You they cried out and were delivered;
In You they trusted and were not disappointed
As a parent with a child in crisis, we cry out and sometimes we don’t get an answer. We moan and groan and there is only silence. What we cannot see is that God is still at work. He never left. He is still in control and knows the future despite the many crises we see or going through. There will be seasons of unrest, impatience, sorrow, and feeling forsaken, but God is still on the throne. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
This also means that He knows every detail of your circumstance. He knows exactly how you feel. Like David, He will deliver you at the right time for God’s purposes and glory. David went through suffering, but God restored him as a King to Israel. God will restore you and your family too.
Today, put your trust and hope in the deliverer – Jesus Christ!
Amen