Abusing Your Gift – Thinking of You Jake
Playing favorites and calling your child disrespectful names is no laughing matter. Preparing his future as if he will be worthless and only problematic is something no parent should be joking about either. Unfortunately, it is to a famous reality TV mother (Brandi Gandville) who publicly bashed her son who is only 7.
In a nutshell , what this parent is doing is called psychological and emotional abuse. This young boy who is still learning about who he is will never have a chance of strong self-esteem and unconditional love if his parent continues to belittle and tear him down.
Parents, we need to be careful in the words we use and choose, whether it is publicly or privately towards our children. It is actions such as this that start the path of a teen in crisis. Young boys look to their mothers as a comfort, and caretaker, with compassion, gentleness, and love. As a young boy ages, he views young girls and seeks a future wife to someone that parallels those same qualities in his own mother.
When the view of that mother has been distorted, stained and altered, it will naturally be replaced with being mean-spirited, unloving, uncaring, discriminating, and even a bully. How can this young boy’s view be anything healthy? A mother sets the tone of how young men view women. Some of the most notorious serial killers hated their mothers because of how they were treated growing up.
A long time ago, I had a conversation with a woman who had three children. In the midst of our discussion regarding our children, this mother outright said that she favored one child over the other children. She knew it was wrong, but she said she didn’t care. She figured none of her kids would know what she was doing. It was how she felt and she wasn’t going to change her mind. Well, she was wrong. The other two sibling’s anger grew along with feelings of abandonment and rejection. Why? Despite her thoughts of hiding it, they already knew by her actions that she favored this one child more than the others.
When a child is emotionally abused, it sets the groundwork for depression, suicidal tendencies and behavioral problems. Furthermore, a lack of attachment or emotional bond not just towards the parents but to others continues to build on top of a weak foundation.
Are we to be quick to condemn this mother in how she is treating her son? No. She needs help. Does she understand the impact of her words and actions towards her son that it is abusive? No. For several reasons, she grew up in a broken environment in which her own mother treated her in the same manner using hurtful and damaging words. Secondly, until someone counsels her about the effects of negativity and abuse, there needs to be a place of extending grace. We also need to pray that she receives wisdom on how to be a better influence and parent for her child. This family needs intervention in order for them to find any healing and health for their future.
So the next moment you have with your kids, give them a hug. Let them know that they are a wonderful gift and how much you love them. Give them praise every moment you can. You will see them soar in their self-esteem and they in turn will give honor and respect to you as their mom.
Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3 (nlt)
Another important message, Stacy.