Sabbatical Windows

 

Living with a teen in crisis is tiring.  Let’s face it.  You are drained emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.  All you want is a sabbatical from the daily life of an out of control teen who constantly displays risky and dangerous behavior.  You’re fed up.  You have nothing else to give to change what is happening.

I remember many times in which things were so bad that I wanted to run away.  I also wanted to kill myself.  Yep!  I went through so many emotions –  shock, confusion, anger, depression, days of constant crying, and days of not even caring to feed myself. 

Surprisingly, I made it through.  I look back and see that despite where I was mentally during those crises, God held my hand through it all and kept me from drowning into the sea of despair and giving up.

He gave me something that He knew I needed; little sabbatical windows.  Just enough time to hide myself away so that I could refuel with strength and hope.  Those windows came in different forms – through a friend, through music, through a mini one hour getaway for coffee.  Sometimes it was a long car ride, a walk through the park, or tending my garden.

The term sabbatical is also related to other meanings: furlough, breather, rest, holiday, intermission and even vacation.  To me, it didn’t matter which meaning it referred to, I just knew I needed one.

Those sabbatical windows gave me just enough time to pull myself together and hear that still small voice from God that I was not alone.  He loved me.  He loved my child.  He knew my heart.  He understood my hurt and pain.  He saw my tears.

Every. Single. One. 

As you have noticed, I haven’t written much lately.  Why?  Because I have been taking a sabbatical of sorts to refocus on myself and to hear what God is saying to me.

Sabbaticals are good. They refresh.  They renew.  They dig down deep at the heart and reveal things that we need to see and hear.  Sabbaticals don’t need to be months, weeks, or even days.  Sometimes all that is needed is an hour here or there.  What’s important is that we all need one, no matter how big or small.

So today, if you need a sabbatical window, don’t feel guilty about needing time away from your teen.  You deserve time for yourself.     I know I do.  😉